Dean

I once knew a boy called Dean,

Who was bullied for being fat,

Which I suppose is a good enough reason.

Tinder

I plan to preserve youth by cyclically dating 22-year-olds

In brine.

I think it will be easy because they are all

Online.

He liked Keats, Shelley, and Lord Byron;

That bought him favour with Charon:

The ferryman proved a most frightful Romantic

And bumped up his Styx ply to a cruise transatlantic.

People beat me over the head with their

Boring lives.

And then, with an equal and opposite

Viciousness,

I beat them with mine.